They Will Kill You
Viewed: July 17, 2026
They Will Kill You released at some point in 2026 and I heard about it by complete accident. A member of my WoW guild mentioned it in our movies channel asking if anyone had opinions on it. I watched the trailer, and it immediately reminded me of Ready or Not. Seeing that was enough to pique my interest to give this a look.
Laying on the couch with a migraine, I turned the movie on and in about the first 10 minutes of the movie I begun to fall asleep.. until things started to really pick up, which is when I was jolted awake and glued the entire way through. To repeat, I began to fall asleep. I may have missed a total of 20 seconds of movie time.
This film felt to me like Ready or Not meets Kill Bill, and was directed by Edgar Wright. The movie follows Isabella as she fights for her life through a luxury building in which the residents are trying to kill her. This is a flick that is over the top on violence and gore and has some incredibly fun action sequences set to music in a way that channels Edgar Wright. There’s also gratuitous feet, so Quentin would feel right at home.
I can hardly stress enough how gory this movie is. Although I will contend it’s done to a comedic level. Still, if you’re overly squeamish this may be a pass. There’s also visible shit smeared on a toilet. Yeah, it’s not really shit, but when you’re suspending your disbelief of the film, you sit there disgusted and the scene goes for probably too long.
The film starts in a convenience store which near-immediately turns into hiding, stalking, shooting, and a run-for-your-life, well, run.
The film is chaotic, super dark, and incredibly funny, and clocks in at just over an hour and a half.
Score: One shotgun up. But it’s a double barrel. (Yes, that makes it 2/2)
What kind of score is even that?
Spoiler Review
Now that the spoiler free version is out of the way, let’s talk about everything else. Holy shit, once the action starts about 10 or 15 minutes in, it largely does not let off the gas. I did not expect the level of gore that I received from the movie, especially after Asia shoots her father in the parking lot of the convenience store and they don’t really show any blood splatter.
The movie is a little slow to start, but picks up immediately with the creeping through the vent. That part about starting to fall asleep from before? Yeah, that was right at this spot, and I was quickly jolted awake by the dude hovering over her bed, just before he began licking her feet. Seriously, are we absolutely sure Quentin didn’t direct this?
I knew so little about the film going into it that when the first head got chopped off I let out a “Holy shit” as blood spurted everywhere. I will say though, the “I’ll kill you by electrocuting myself” angle really made me roll my eyes. Although to be honest, sitting here thinking about it, maybe it would actually work? I have no idea.
It was painfully obvious right from the first time we see him that Ray was going to be helping Asia out on her little journey. But whatever, the twist of them all being immortal and him being tired of it made it work out.
Also, what a fun twist was that? Watching that first action scene you feel like she’s going to go on a mad killing spree through the house. But then when she gets to the hallway and everyone she just killed walks out, including Tom Felton with head-in-hand, you immediately let out a “Wait, the fuck?”
As we’re following Asia through the walls, I’m begging her to shoot one of their heads off. That will obviously finish them, right? When she finally did, I was happy to see that she wasn’t built as a complete idiot. I was even happier when my expectation was subverted and we see the now headless corpse chasing her, along with a stray eyeball rolling and jumping around to track her. Hilarious stuff.
Once we got to Floor 2 and meet her sister, I felt it slowed down just a bit. Why didn’t Asia age at all in those 10 years in prison? Her deciding to knock her out to save her was again a fun little subversion. I also loved the fact that we learn that each floor of The Virgil is a different vice. I was disappointed we didn’t learn more about the different floors, but luckily reddit user u/Euphoric_Size8329 made a great post which explains what each of the floors we didn’t see were.
Floor 3 is where my favorite scene of the movie fell. I felt that ballroom fight scene was just.. chefs kiss. The dark room, the flaming axe, the sparks flying with every axe hit, and the music to go with it all? Again, it really illicited some Edgar Wright feelings from me.
To fast forward a good bit, up on the 9th floor again was a twist I didn’t see coming. A damn pig head that is actually possessed by the devil? While we knew there were dark forces at play keeping everyone alive, I wasn’t expecting them to be like “No, we’re serious about all of the rules we’ve set. Here’s the proof of it". And after all the talks of “the list”, to see that everyone’s name was written on the pig head was cool. Although it seemed like there was not enough room for all the people they show us.
The ending I was able to see near immediately one the pig head was shown. Maria writing Asia’s name and taking her own life to save her sister who went in to save her.. I guess maybe contrived is a good way to put it. I will say though, what I expected was closer to “Now we’re in an eternal war because we’ll just keep killing each other forever”, rather than “I’m going to destroy this list but save my own name so you can’t kill me, but I can kill each of you”. But finally seeing everyone meet an ultimate demise was satisfying, as well as seeing some pork rinds being made in real time.
The ending definitely felt like it was produced to set up for a sequel. Asia holds the pig skin in hand with Maria’s name on it as she comes back to life squirming. She doesn’t burn the final piece of skin, nor does she erase Maria’s name (who is now doomed to a life of immortality). Apparently the movie was a box office flop, but has been doing well on streaming. Unfortunately, since movie studios are in the business of making money and not just making fun stuff for us to watch, unless it does boku numbers off digital purchases, I don’t see a sequel getting made.
Oh well. The trip to The Virgil was fine while it lasted.